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I Must Have Nodded Off And Woken Up In LaLa Land

Last updated on March 14th, 2019 at 02:27 pm

Reading Time: 2 minutes

I’m about to phone the surgery and make an appointment to see the doctor.   Either the news of the last few days is absolutely crazy or I really have the lost the plot and need a comfy room with no sharp edges.

  1.  We had the ’email’ asking Police in London not to wear their Union Flag badges. Sir Bernard Hogan-Who has apparently stated that he has ‘no issues’ with it but senior officers are reportedly concerned that the badge could provoke ill-feeling or cause offence in some communities.   What communities?  What ill-feeling or offence?  The Police Community are most certainly offended by the request/instruction.  It has since been reported that this was a local email to one borough only, but I don’t really care, the damage has already been done.  BHH says he has ‘no issues’ with it, why should anybody else go against that.  Produce the intelligence or evidence that will demonstrate the ill-feeling or offence and just maybe I’ll agree with you, whoever you are.  Don’t be a nameless, faceless puppet, who issued this email?  Who is the Senior Officer that thinks it will cause Ill-feeling or offence?  Do we not deserve to know?
  2. BBC Local news this morning reported on the shooting of 4 men in Birmingham yesterday.  Most of the article was taken up by interviewing local residents who blamed the Police for this shooting.  Apparently they did nothing to ‘protect the community’ from this shooting, and one lady even described a ‘cop stood around doing nothing’.  I’m sure he/she wasn’t actually standing around doing nothing while the shooting was allowed to take place, but the BBC reported it well.  Silly me, I always thought it was the fault of the person who pulled the triger, it never occurred to me that 4 people getting shot could be the Police’s fault.
  3. A tweet or tweets from @FHamiltonTimes this morning finally convinced me that I am going mad.  In all my 30 years serving Queen and Country it never once occurred to me that Over Zealous Lawn Mowing should have been recorded as a crime.  To be honest, I have seldom encountered ‘over zealous lawn mowing’ to have even considered the issue.


That’s me done for the day, off to lie down in a darkened room before the next person is due to wind me up at about mid-day

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  1. Rufus

    Surely mowing your neighbour’s lawn for them is the neighbourly thing to do? Will other horticultural pursuits be criminalised? Picking blackberries (theft?)? Playing conkers (criminal damage to a tree/possession of offensive weapon?)?

    Its swung too far already. Determined to prove we are believing victims EVERYTHING is getting crimed which, rather than do us favours, is giving The Wicked Witch more ammunition, e.g. we are not utilising resources effectively.

    We are f**ked tho. Before long we’ll have a Service Response Unit with few powers, firemedic cops on shit wages and volunteers doing everything else. Maybe a contingent of ruthless heavily armed paramilitary goons to protect the rich elite and politicians.

  2. Jeff Piper

    At least it wasn’t over zealous lawn mowing with intent.

    • Alan

      Good point well made

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