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I Have Seen The Future (And The Past)


Last updated on May 8th, 2023 at 11:42 am

Reading Time: 3 minutes

I read with a significant dose of dismay that proposed government cuts are set to bring the levels of Policing back to levels not seen since the 1970s.  Well, I was a serving officer through most of the 70s and I’m still alive now, or at least I was last time I looked.

As a Front Line cop in the 70s let me tell you it was a whole world away from what we have now.  I can’t quite recall how many ‘jobs’ we would get through in an 8 hours shift, but at a busy Norf Larndarn Station I would think that we probably got through maybe 60-70 jobs between us in a shift.  Those jobs could be absolutely anything ranging from seeing kids across the road to get to school in the morning, to reporting (and initial investigation) of a string of overnight burglaries, or dealing with a huge fight in a pub when the whelp had come off and someone’s beer had got spilt and they didn’t see the funny side of it.  Missing Person enquiries were routinely allocated to what are now called Response Cops, RTCs ( accidents to you and me), Sudden Deaths, including Person Under Train BTP Unable, and any number of assorted messages to be delivered ranging from “we’ve found your stolen push bike” to Death Messages were all the domain of the normal, everyday Cop.

If we ended the shift handing over more than half a dozen ‘jobs’ not dealt with, to the following shift there would be all Hell to pay.  I can only imagine how many jobs are handed on to the following shift these days, or how many calls come in to be dealt with an average shift. More than in the 70s I suspect.

So it seems like Cruella, Camoron and Milky Bar, the Unholy Trinity, are seriously expecting us to, in effect, do MUCH more with less.

I’m far from being the only survivor of the 70s on Twatter or Farcecrook, and I’m 100% confident that any of the others will broadly support what I have just outlined.

With all this in mind I have put what grey cells I have left to work and tried to formulate a method whereby we can maintain the high standards of service that we like to give using our much-reduced resources, and I believe I’ve cracked it.

I think that we can learn from the experience of the Armed Forces.

In years gone by absolutely THOUSANDS of troops were thrown at a problem with the intention of defeating the enemy with superior numbers and superior training, using whatever kit was available.  That no longer happens, their numbers have been streamlined the same as Police numbers have in civvy street. So what do they do now? How do they wage war on the Enemy with a much-reduced Army?

Easy.  They use the RAF, for example, to soften them up with Airstrikes, or Apache helicopters, even CRUISE Missiles before the first soldier even sets foot on the battlefield.

This gave me the answer.

Each of our National Police Air Support bases can be equipped with an Apache helicopter and an agreed  

 number of drones.  Next time there is a riot, or a fight in a pub that has got out of control a well aimed Hellfire Missile through the front door of the Saloon Bar should ensure that the lone PC that is available to deal with this fight is now more than sufficient to contain the problem and the risk of injury to the officer is also dramatically reduced.

At the first sign of trouble, possible rioting or looting, get the drones in the air, monitor the situation and pictures beamed back realtime into the Police Control Room for the Duty Officer to authorise the appropriate level of response. 

You may think my suggestions are a bit OTT, and maybe they are, but if Cruella and Co want to insist on such radical cuts then they have to be ready to accept some radical solutions.

No, I am not seriously suggesting any of the above, but it should highlight to Cruella how ridiculous the scale of the proposed cuts is and maybe she should rethink it before it’s too late.

Back to my bacon butty now.

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