I knicked this off Facebook
It’s as much of an update as I can find at the moment, enjoy
I have contacted my ‘mole’ in the PO’s office and this is the current situation. The PO’s decision is delayed due to a malfunction in the AGFDM) (Automatic Government Flack Dispersal Machine) I understand that a fault with the floating fragensack condenser pin has caused a failure of the Kerfuffler valve to open, thus the machine has defaulted into standby mode. The PO cannot release the decision date until the machine is working as this would be a breach of health & safety law as his staff would be vulnerable to incoming flack! Now the problem is compounded by the fact that the Fragensack pins are manufactured in Greece and the company is on a go slow in protest at the austerity conditions being imposed on the Greeks by the Germans. The Germans wont let them have any more Ouzo money until they put their fiscal house in order and pay up for their last lot of Austugerlich Bier. The only way the Geeks can do that is via an increase in tourism that will generate more foreign income to pay the Germans. This income can only come from a few sources because just about everyone else in europe is skint . The Spanish have squandered all their money to roads to nowhere and airports with no planes and the French are (Well since when have we ever been able to rely on the French?) The Scots and the benefit fraudsters are two groups who have just managed to con another few billion out of the UK budget. Unfortunately, these groups keep getting wasted on the Ryan Air jets and end up getting arrested at the airport. They can’t spend their money because they spend the next 14 days in a Greek pokey before being booted back home on their return flight. This leaves one remaining group who have the potential to access funds and that is the police & fire service pensioners who are due a long awaited refund from being ripped off by the GAD. Unfortunately the good police and fire bobbies are still awaiting a decision by the PO on their claim which takes us back to square one!. So for gods sake does anyone out there have a spare Fragensack condenser pin that they can loan to the PO so that we can get our bloody money??